No, I am being serious. I am going to tell you a story about how paint dries....
....... specifically, spray paint.
You see, there exists in my life these two fellows that I happen to love very much. Even though I've known them for less than a year, they're like brothers to me. One goes by the innocent moniker of Bryan, and the other by the vaguely AhBeng name of Botak.
Now, my apartment is painted in a very soothing light blue. It's different from the typical whitewashed wall, and I like it that way. Somehow, Bryan got it into his mind that I was in love with light blue. So he got a fucking can of spray paint, called Botak along, and decided to spray my grille light blue. It's like a switch got thrown in his head and he suddenly thought,"Hey I have a can of light blue spray paint. Khai Tzer likes light blue. Therefore, I shall spray his grille light blue. It will look absolutely horrendous I know, but Khai Tzer will love it. I think it's a good idea. In fact, let's just spray the side of the grille facing outside, and....... Oh fuck it, let's just have fun and just see what happens when we spray....."
So the blissful duo(Bryan and Botak) come to my house one fine day when I'm not home and spray half of my grille blue. They ran out of paint because it was too fun just aerosol-ing the paint around. I came back surprised and quite amused at the effect it caused. I wanted the outside of the apartment to look run-down(so as to not attract attention), and a touch of blue paint on the enamel-cream looked the part.
But today, the blissful duo again came hand-in-hand with a can of blue paint - again while I was not home - and aerosoled pieces of the grille again. "Wah got effect like clouds like that.... some white some blue...", Botak coo-ed in love and enjoyment while we were out yum cha.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!?!??" I thought to myself. Don't tell me they came to spray the fucking thing again......
I drove home dreading how my grille would look like. My heart sank in despair at seeing the horrible shade of milky blue that engulfed a previously normal-looking grille. And it DID have a cloud effect(oh dear god its horrible).... The best part came as I was alternately cursing them and admiring their genius at pranking me like this while sweeping the floor of all the excess spray paint that had dried and turned my marble floor a horrible shade of blue. Bryan called me.
"OI leng zhai or not your grille? Lengzhai(cantonese for "handsome") or not?!? Lengzhai or not?!?!?*giggle giggle giggle*"
"Of FUCKING COURSE NOT LA!!! BRYAN YOU BASSSSSSSTARD!!! #*@!!!-ING BETTER BRING A FUCKING CAN OF WHITE PAINT FOR ME I HAVE TO PAINT THE @#$-ING GRILLE AND THE WALLS. cccciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-BAI!!"
"WUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!! ok ok I get you your paint *giggle giggle*"
But it was a good prank. Check out the hilarious results:by the way, the fuckers just sprayed it from the outside with no regard for how it would look as a whole. It ended up looking like some loan shark had come to deliver a warning for late payment.