Monday, April 17, 2006

Funny Conversation

After a hilarious go-kart session where my phone flew out of my pocket and disintegrated into little pieces and the kart was so unbalanced that my hands and ass were numb after 10 minutes, we crawled out from the snug seats with sweaty heads and helmet hair and huge grins on our faces.

Anthony: Well that was fun wasn't it??!? Hahahahahahha
Me: Wooohoooo!! Damn right! I overtook all of you! Nyehehehehhehe.... But my ass is all numb. Oh my poor ass.
Anthony: But 10 minutes was too short..... *pause*...... as with all the fun things in life. *waggles eyebrows and cheeky grin*
Me:I don't know bout you, but it takes more than 10 minutes for me........ *waggles eyebrows*

*both crack up laughing*

How to know if you were born between 1980-1984,

1. Guys: Voltron, He-Man, Thundercats, Mask, TRANSFORMERS!!!!!
2. Girls: Jem, The Smurfs, The Care Bears.

*sidenote: If that pang of nostalgia is inspiring you to find old episodes of your favourite cartoon..... for the love of god, don't. I watched an old episode of Smurfs and Thundercats the other day, and they sucked harder than my mom's Electrolux vacuum cleaner. The art was crap and the dialogue was so contrived I almost puked my guts. Plus with those heels and the big blonde hair, that Smurfette is obviously a nympho-slut. Oh God! See what happens when you watch innocent old cartoons with your grown-up dirty mind?!?!?

3. Michael Jackson was black, and a god; Not white, and a joke. Mum told me I knew 'beat it' before I could even talk properly.
4. VCD?!? Fuck off lah! Only got videotape.
5. Disney cartoons were still 2-d, and hand-animated.
6. No iPod. Discman also don't have. Only got BoomBox and Walkman.
7. Your dad owned a Datsun, not a Nissan.
8. No Proton Saga yet.
9. Every house has a Toyota Corolla/Honda Accord.
10. black-and-green computer screens.
11. There were only 2 constants in life: Lee Kuan Yew and Mahathir Mohammad.
12. When you called someone, you said,"Hello, can I speak to Ahmad please", not "Oi! Where are you?" and you dialed by using a REAL rotary dial, not a keypad.
13. Small kids actually played "catching" in the evenings instead of going for tuition all fucking day long for 12 years at a stretch.
14. You were best friends, not awkward strangers, with your neighbours.
15. Micro Genius was your (only) game console of choice.
16. In primary school, there was a game called "Pepsi Cola".
17. You could buy legal fireworks during Chinese New Year (but as with all good things in life, it's much nicer when they're illegal, so fellate away while chewing gum, you stupid Singaporeans!!!)
18. 1 Ringgit could buy more than 1 Singapore Dollar.
19. Genting Highlands was heaven.
20. You could have a feast at the school canteen for RM1.
21. In secondary school, having a mobile phone was surprising, having a 3210 made people gasp in awe, and we were only ever heard of people with an 8210 or a StarTac.
22. BMX, not Mountain Bike.
23. TVs didn't have remote controls when you were a kid.
24. Internet?
25. Central locking?
26. Microwave oven?
27. Diego Maradona, not Diego the Sabretooth Tiger.
28. Michael Jordan, not Yao Ming.
29. Football, not Futsal.
30. American Express, not Mastercard.
31. 80 sen petrol.
32. Seremban was still the world's most idyllic, perfect place.
33. Yaohan! Oooh boy, no trip to KL was complete without a trip there.
34. Kentucky Fried Chicken was called"Kentucky" for short("Ei let's go Kentucky"), and it sold beer instead of all that tomyam flavoured shit.
35. People actually went to A&W.
36. Alcohol and cigarettes were cheap.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Sheng Wai Comes in Public!!!

Check out that orgasmic look on his face. What a perverted little motherfucker. And there were small kids around too!!! Most importantly, he was looking at a fat old aunty with grey-blonde hair and saggy tits when I caught him doing this. HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Bryan, SW and I got a whole load of laughs and wet shoes trying to get this perfect shot at the Genting Theme Park and it was too funny not to post.