Saturday, May 26, 2007

Drunk and Co-ordinated

Who the hell plays basketball at midnight until 2AM in the morning everyday? The mad fuckers at Puchong, that's who.

Who gets fed-up of the waning challenge at USJ20 and decides to join the Midnight Basketball Borg? Slim Baby, that's who.

Who resisted the Basketball Borg the best he could but gave up in the end and got addicted as well? Me.

Who got totally smashed at a friend's birthday party on a Friday night......... but still rushed off to Puchong at 12.30 to catch the last few pickup games until 2 in the morning?


It was surreal, playing basketball while drunk... Kinda like watching a first-person video of someone running and jumping. My feet were moving but I couldn't get any feedback at all.

Just do it, indeed. If it doesn't work, you get swatted to the floor by the giant center. Doesn't hurt a whit since you're already drunk as nails. You get up smiling and continue to play. Reverse layups even work, because they're already tired and your muscle memory tells your legs how to move. All instinct, no analysis. I can't keep count of the number of non-standard crap passes I made.

And now, at 3 in the morning...... let's go yumcha.


Sunday, May 13, 2007

Malaytalian Morons

Please forgive me if you notice that I frequently harbour malicious derision, frustration and abject pity for every dumb soul that owns a Mykad. As a Malaysian myself, that's what makes it all the more painful and irritating.

You're all morons - Indefatigable , stubbornly under-achieving, close-minded, sycophantic, foreign-worshipping Morons.

Take for example the huge number of morons who support Italy in the World Cup. "Oh Totti blahblahblah", "Azurri rule!""Viva La Italia!" It reminds me of the black woman who applied to join the Ku Klux Klan...FYI you fools, along with Spain, Italy is the most racist country in the world. You may think that everything Italian is exotic, but it's a country that's corrupt, economically weak, and racist beyond compare.

I'll forgive you for not making noise about the abject state of Malaysian football everytime there's a big international tournament, but the sheer fanaticism of Malay-talian football fans is beyond compare. You're not Italian, you idiots, you're Malaysian. You're brown-skinned(and slitty-eyed, for all you nitpickers who are going to shout "Corsica!" and "Sicily"). That means you'd be discriminated against if you go to Italy. Fascism is ingrained in their culture and their attitudes. Is there a black player in the squad? Has there ever been? I rest my case.

You're all apathetic, uninterested, self-serving bastards. How many among you don't litter out your car window? How many of you are considerate enough to use your turn signals on the road? All the small signs lead to a bigger malady, that of cultural starvation. I'm Malaysian, but what stands me in good stead when I'm overseas isn't the confidence that my country could kick your country's ass(like the Americans), or the fact that I'm born a patriot, serving my country as it has served me(Japan, Israel)......... it's my own personality and knowledge that does it, and it's not reflective of my nation at all.

In fact, if I were to represent my country's typical citizen, I would probably be an insecure, ignorant, uneducated(despite going to university) racist moron who speaks horrendous English and idolizes the White Man while selfishly blaming others for his lot in life. Oh oh, and I would also be proud that I'm "too busy to read", and I'll be the stingiest guy of the lot because my currency is so small and I use all my salary to pay off my car loan for a "national car" that is famous for malfunctioning electric windows.

FYI, you smug-looking Italy and England lovers, white isn't superior, and even if it was, loving the white man doesn't make you white. Sohai.