Saturday, November 18, 2006

Penniless and Broke

For reasons I shall not bore you with, events conspired this weekend to leave me with only RM35 to spend, for the entire weekend(that's Friday night until Monday morning), and with no way to access my funds in the bank. John from Klang whose pictures I look at while wanking (GOTCHA JOHN!!!!!!!!!! NO WAY TO RUN FROM THE GAY-NESS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!) - sorry about that. My friend John is slightly homophobic and I take every chance I get to make him feel as nauseous as possible - offered to buy me dinner... but I want to see if I can get through the entire 3 days without having to take cash from anyone, as an experiment in frugality and discipline. I had 52 ringgit late on Friday night..... but I couldn't resist cajoling the Black Ghost and Bryan to go to Kepong for Bak kut teh. So that's 17 ringgit gone. Discipline...... yeah right.

But then, I haven't spent a sen all day now, and it's 5.41 PM on Saturday. I've skipped breakfast on account of eating a huge portion of pork ribs in herbal soup until 3.30AM in the morning, lunch(cause I'm being a cheapskate), and I've only been munching on the muesli in my kitchen cupboard. And by munching I mean shaking the jar violently until the almonds and raisins rise to the top, and then picking them off one by one while watching Prison Break, ignoring the inevitable day when I'll have to eat plain muesli(yuck) and milk when I've finished all the nuts and raisins and all the good stuff.

As I laze in bed with the air-conditioning on full-blast and my laptop on my lap, I'm wondering if I have the discipline to not blow all my cash(wow, ALL your RM35!!! So much!!) and take up my friends' offer of ready cash. I think I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms from not partying yesterday night. All the scratching, twitching, and general irritability will probably be exarcebated by the fact that I'm not going to be partying tonight too. I've had no less than 4 phone calls by 9 this morning by people waking me up and wondering what I have planned for them tonight, and why haven't I called them yet since it's already Saturday morning.

The first sms this morning: "Yo. Any pussy plans tonight? :)"
The first msn msg today: "Yo apa buat? Got what plans for later?"
The first phone call today:"Oi! Where are you? Tonight party where? Why never call me?"
The last phone call I got: "hallo? Ei go out lar tonight!............. Go where??!?! How the fuck I know! You tell me lah!"

They've generally reacted with long pauses followed by hurt and confusion when I tell them I plan to do absolutely nothing. I imagine them standing around in a crowd, like the 4400, looking confusedly around wondering where they are and what they're doing...

...... and I think it's absolutely hilarious. The best part is when I act stupid and say,"Dun have ah. Call me if you got anything lah. Bye."

But you see, I really do need more than RM35. What for?

1. Haircut. My botak head just grew out, and although it's all nice and fuzzy like a rambutan, I want to look less like a fruit and more like a well-groomed gay dude.
2. Phone. I'm left with less than 80 sen worth of prepaid credit, and I had no idea until midnight yesterday when I got hit by the warning msg.
3. Dinner, supper, breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper again.
4. Gotta reload my touch 'n' go card. I like to put RM200 in everytime, saves me the trouble of reloading so often.

I hate being poor. I will work hard to make money to feed my family and provide them with a comfortable life! (cue corny "inspirational" japanese tv-series music)

.........Hey I just thought of something! People still owe me for the last few rounds of partying and I'll be seeing them tonight! MUAHAHAHA I guess this weekend will work out after all. Bye guys! I'm off to dinner!

Khai Tzer


Anonymous said...

exacerbated spelled wrongly :P

El Nino said...

Preciesly, anomynous! Many thanks for correcting me! ;) I'm betting it's April........ no no it's not. Um.... Bon?

*gila malu*