Tuesday, January 02, 2007

"Beastie, more like."

Girls, please don't do the following, because it makes you look like absolute morons:

1. "and i'm like..... and she's like.......... and then they're like....."
Please look up the meaning of "like" in any available dictionary. The use of a pronoun followed by "like" is NOT proscribed as proper usage of the word in ANY context. You would think a gender that blabbers non-stop would be proficient in basic grammar.

2. "Bestie"
What the fuck! This awful word word has been popping up all over the place recently. If you're a moron girl, you go,"This girl is my BESTIE!" (Beastie, more like, unless "bestie" stands for "best in show", cause she sure is a real dog). Tiu....... Just because you affectionately call your dog "doggy", your best friend is now "bestie"? Once, I was so bored I picked up one of my sister's pink feminazi magazines - I dunno, cleo or seventeen or something - and I caught sight of the word used in the publication! You think it's cute? Just because she used to suck your mum's other breast when you were kids doesn't give you the right to annoy the whole world. Please realise the fact that the creative and situationally proper use of English(read bigoted, racist, bullying, discriminatory) - like calling a dark-skinned friend Blackie, or a flatulent friend Farty - is good, while adding on a "-ey" or "-ie" suffix to a word just to make it "cute" is not. It just exhibits how much empty space there is between your skull.

3. Posing like porn stars everytime you and your "bestie" take a picture....
......which is every single moment you're together: At the mall, eating lunch, in the restroom, at the club(ESPECIALLY at the club). If someone challenged me to name one disadvantage of camera phones and the easy proliferation of digicams, this would be it. When girls began to pout, arch their backs and squeeze their boobs together back in 2004, men everywhere secretly rejoiced, believing that the next sexual revolution was here, that Malaysian girls had finally begun to shed their (honestly self-limiting) prudish skins in favour of a more open and happy disposition. Little did we dumb males realise that this behaviour was merely an evolution of the traditional "chinese girl ADD" mode, because the sex-kitten persona almost never extended beyond the reach of the lens, serving only to shamelessly attract as much attention as possible(in clubs) and to fuel the angst-ridden fantasies of undersexed teenage boys everywhere(on Friendster), who will then proceed to send them a message saying "hi. You lookd sexy. Mind friends?" The girls will then complain to me, saying that nerdy boys are harassing them, earning a huge kick in the ass from me. You don't want them to message you then why you post the picture? Wear a burqa lah. Moron.

6 comments:

kmiin said...

i don't remember using the word bestie,
and you didn't suck even one side of our mother's breast, sorry.
So don't get yourself annoyed reading knowingly feminazi magazine when you're already bored.

Love,
Your sister
(sistie.. just to annoy you)

p/s: giggles tee hee. Sorry ADD chinese bitches disappoint you so bad.
p/s/s: I got bored..

El Nino said...

ei hallo sistie,
it's "p/p/s": post-post-script, not post-script-script. And I didn't mean you, so *chak* rilek ah!!!

happy new year! *hug hug* I heard somebody on Lipitor! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. Old lady!!!!!

kmiin said...

ohhh hahaha post script script.
hepi niu year koko... better not steal people's egg yolk so much or we'll have to eat lipitor together.

Anonymous said...

whats wrong with the word bestie when you use words like GROUPIE??
sheesh.

El Nino said...

Sohai! :) Groupie is a word lah. Go look it up in the dictionary.

Anonymous said...

hahaha... your observations really livened up night before i hit the sack. So cheers to ya!

Keep posting!

~M'sian in SG~