While (tee-)totally sober last night, I had an epiphany (Oh it was horrible. Whoever it was that said enlightenment would set you free must have been totally coked up or shot up)...
First, some background: Flooded to the gills with antibiotics and some insanely powerful flu meds (which incidentally cost me half an arm and my first-born) to treat my persistent cough-till-I-tear, blood-stained-snot, viscous-vicious-brown-phlegm flu, I was (for once) scared enough to follow the instructions on the zip-loc medicine baggies and take my meds religiously. I also figured that meds and Mr Johnnie Walker probably wouldn't get along together, hence my total abstention from alcohol on a Thursday night at Maison. Yes, almost unforgivable, I know. Unless you're on fucking-scare-my-socks-off pseudoephedrine.
And thus, after a long night of swilling water, standing awkwardly around and not dancing or making friends with strangers, I come to a horrifying realisation: I might just have become one of those people who only become interesting after a few drinks...
My heart started thumping and the ego was reeling in horror while the id calmly slapped the facts into its face.
"Boy! When was the last time you partied sober? Are you afraid to go talk to the strange people at the next table tonight? What the hell happened to your footloose dancing? Where are the laughing crowds and the adoring women tonight?"
My mind gasped and thrashed at the audacious bluntness and the possibility that it.... just.... might.... be..... *horror of horrors*..... true! Was I really a lush? Could I have been seduced by the same party culture (giving in to the uniquely Asian practice of equating drinking alcohol with giving face) that I've struggled so far to avoid?
No no... It wasn't the only reason. My mind finally filtered through the scare-mongering unleashed upon it by a latently evil subconscious. It was a combination of being sick, stress and sleep deprivation that mainly caused my lack of spirit, although the other "lack of spirits" was admittedly not helping me lose my inhibitions.
One good thing came out of it though. I'm not going clubbing for the foreseeable future. Got to get back into shape after the joys of Chinese New Year eating and drinking, the ultra-killer 3 week flu, and the string of hard-partying late nights that have been a mainstay of my calendar for the past 2 months. I look in the mirror now and my abs have gone into hibernation under a nice warm layer of insulation, my muscle tone's shot to shit, and my face looks like I'm actually 26(instead of 18), for once.
You want a new year's resolution? Being washed out and tired from bad living sure is a good motivator for one, and no prizes for guessing what it is.