Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Walking wounded

I landed sideways on my left foot today, hearing a loud scrunch and a sudden shock of warm blood flowing to my ankles.

"Oh fuck," I thought,"this is the big tiiiiime!"

And then I limped off the court, iced the ankle and compressed the goddamned joint. So now I'm limping along like an imbecilic cripple, hobbling in and out of my room to the laughter and amusement of my family.


Which got me to thinking about my mortality(again). In secondary school, I thought I was immortal, made of metal and impossible to destroy. Actually I've felt that way ever since I was born, and so I decided to jump backwards of a giant see-saw one day when I was 12, and managed, despite my self-avowed super-ness, to break my left wrist. It jutted out and the splintered ends of the bone grated against one another and I got into shock and I was in a cast for 6 weeks. Did it stop me? I was back the next day running around like and idiot and playing Mortal Kombat with a fucked up hand with Kit and Rik.

A week later I had already taken off the sling and was using my casted forearm like reinforced armour.

What I've done so far:
1. Broken my wrist.
2. injured my knee.
3.Dislocated my shoulder jumping around on slippery rocks(and was rock climbing the next week)
4. Fell head-first while hanging upside down at the playground, and I almost asphyxiated to death. Didn't stop me from trying to backflip...
5. Got my nose rearranged with violent force so I'm extra handsome if you like the "funfair mirror look"(didn't stop me from fighting)
6. Got my nose and eye socket cut.
...... and now, to cap off a wonderful start to the year of the dog, I've seriously sprained both ankles, twisted both middle fingers backwards so they look like sausages, and have a twinge in my knee as a result of still playing while injured.

Fuck. I wonder if I'll ever live long enough to reproduce. If I do, then Darwin was seriously wrong. Sometimes the stupid propagate.


Anonymous said...

wow...am glad u are still alive and sounding fine now. Great piece of article about living life as superman. Keep it up...young blogger! Way to go man.

Anonymous said...

eh young blogger, still a virgin ar? You arse hole.

Niama, wanna show off machoness?
I am some one you know, guess me correctly, I give you dinner treat. Ma chau hai.

El Nino said...

Lemme guess. Andrew. You arse hole. Better go bang a Japanese chick soon you bitch! Don't wanna listen about you being a virgin when you're back.

Anonymous said...


That's so wrong. Me not andrew. I talk cock king. Give you one more chance fucker.