Saturday, October 01, 2005

Definition: Optimism

Once upon a time, there was this 40-year old Singaporean Malay dude who was a really kind fellow -This is a true story btw, read it in The Star a few weeks ago - who goes out of his way to help his neighbour, a 79-year old Chinese lady with her groceries and stuff everyday. So this goes on for a while and he eventually falls in love with her, she with him, and they decide to get married.

Before you can say "aiyer...", the news-starved Malaysian (and probably the Singaporean) newspapers descend upon the lucky couple once they get news of this unusual marriage. It's undoubtedly true love (the other alternative is brain disease, and I prefer the first one since I'm a romantic person *snicker snicker*) since neither are filthy rich, especially good looking, or possess any obvious attributes that would make people say,"Oh he/she is marrying her/him for his/her ______ (insert noun)".

Now, according to the paper, this dude says that they get on like bees and honey, and that "the physical part of our marriage is very active." Whoah mama!.... I mean gran.... I mean great-grandmama!! You can't be serious! At 79?!? Apparently she concurs that there are no problems in the bedroom with a toothy little grin. Now in the photo, he's in shorts and slippers strolling along cool as can be, while the little wrinkled old lady (with a tudung now that she's a Muslim) looks like she's limping after him, out of breath and unable to catch up. Now I'm finding it really hard trying to imagine them actually doing it, let alone being "very active". But particularly, I'm wondering how the fuck does he get turned on. I understand the attraction of older women, being a fan myself, but when people talk about that, they're assuming you're 25 and the woman is 35, 40 tops. And pulsating hot. Like Madonna or Carina Lau. They're not talking about wrinkled, saggy milkbags and a shapeless, ailment-ridden body. Jesus! But I digress, and in the paragraph below you will find the definition of "optimism".

I'm feeling incredulous enough that a marriage like this could happen, let alone one with an active sex life, when this guy comes out with his coup de grace, "I hope to start a family with her soon."

WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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