......sluts and bitches:
One will sleep with anyone, the other will sleep with anyone but you.
......The difference between PMS and BSE:
One is mad cow disease, and the other is an agricultural problem.
...... a virgin and a log of wood:
None. Both lie there waiting for someone to work back and forth on them with sharp tools.
......The police and the monarchy:
None. After the PJ police ear squat debacle, the Royal Malaysian Police is now known in China as Polis Raja Di Malaysia.
......being caught cheating on your wife and being caught cheating on your taxes:
If you get caught by the government, they'll want to screw you anyway, and harder.